


i looked at you like the stars that shine

by nikkiRA



Series: Dimilix Week 2021 [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Dimilix Week (Fire Emblem), M/M, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Tragedy of Duscur (Fire Emblem)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:28:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29442651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikkiRA/pseuds/nikkiRA
Summary: He says, “When I’m your shield, I’m not going to get married.”
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Series: Dimilix Week 2021 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2162679
Comments: 11
Kudos: 54
Collections: 2021 Dimilix Week





	i looked at you like the stars that shine

**Author's Note:**

> this is very short and bittersweet but happy first day of dimilix week!!! for the prompt "children"

Sylvain has long since disappeared with one of the girls from the kitchen, and Ingrid has set herself up near the buffet table, keeping one watchful eye on Glenn. Felix has stuck close to Dimitri’s side the whole night, trailing after him as Dimitri is shown off to various nobles, or dragging him along when Felix is forced to greet extended family and people he’s never met before. Occasionally some old great aunt will click her tongue and smooth down his hair, and he sees a few disapproving glances at the way he’s clinging to the Crown Prince’s sleeve, but Felix doesn’t care. 

A little while later Glenn and a group of other knights disappear to the training grounds to show off; Ingrid follows at a distance, and Felix can see Dimitri’s interest is piqued. Annoyance sparks in his gut. Glenn always gets all the attention, and even though Felix loves and idolizes his brother, something a lot like jealousy burns inside him as he watches Dimitri’s eyes follow his brother. 

“Let’s go somewhere,” Felix says, drawing Dimitri’s blue eyes back towards him. “I’m tired of having my cheeks pinched by relatives I’ve never met.”

Dimitri gives him a careful look that Felix knows well. It means he wants to but he thinks he shouldn’t. “It’s your father’s birthday, Felix.”

“He’ll have more,” Felix says. 

Dimitri looks back towards where Glenn had gone. “It looked like your brother was going to the training grounds,” he starts, but Felix tugs him in the other direction.

“There will be too many people there,” he says, maybe a little too sharply. “I’m sure he’ll spar with you later.”

Dimitri doesn’t answer, but he does follow Felix as he leaves the hall, winding through corridors and ducking out one of the staff entrances. It’s summer, which means it’s not quite as stupidly cold, and they end up wandering through the garden that’s mostly fallen into disarray since Felix’s mother died. It’s empty here, almost always is, a harsh reminder of the loss of the widely loved Duchess that people tended to avoid. Felix knows that his father comes out here occasionally and just sits. Felix used to join him, but he hasn’t in a while. 

There’s a bench in the garden, but Felix ignores that and flops down on a patch of grass at the roots of one of the long dead beech trees. Dimitri lowers himself beside him, lying back with his head close to Felix’s. Felix shifts his leg slightly so it’s just barely touching Dimitri’s. 

“Why didn’t you want to go watch Glenn? You’ve always loved watching him fight.”

Felix chews on his lip. “I told you, there’s too many people.”

Dimitri is silent for a bit, both of them aware he’s not being truthful. Felix has never hidden anything from Dimitri before, and he likely knows that if he waits a bit Felix will relent. 

And he does. “All Ingrid talks about anymore is Glenn,” he says quietly to the sky. Dimitri lets this sit for a moment, lets it hang in the air between them. “And Sylvain is always off with some girl,” he says, hurt evident in his voice. The past little while had made it more and more clear how big of a difference the three years were between Sylvain and the rest of them. “I feel like everyone is moving on,” Felix says, a little bitterly. He doesn’t say  _ without me,  _ but Dimitri knows him well enough to hear it. 

“I’m not,” Dimitri says. “I’m still here.” He moves his hand so his pinky is beside Felix’s, linking them together when Felix doesn’t move away. 

“For now,” Felix says. He’s not being fair, really, and he knows that, knows that Dimitri may be his best friend but he’s the heir to the throne above all else. Dimitri won’t always be his. He’s known that from the beginning; his father had made sure that he never forgot it. So he knows that one day, and one day soon, he’s going to be able to stop doing this, stop stealing Dimitri away from his responsibilities to hoard him all to himself. He knows that even now that if they were found by his father, Rodrigue would be furious -- but he’s willing to risk it. 

“For now,” Dimitri says. “But at least it’s now.”

Felix is quiet, thinking about this. He thinks about how the only friend he has left is going to be taken from him. He thinks about losing Dimitri to an entire Kingdom and knowing there was nothing he could do about it. 

He says, “When I’m your shield, I’m not going to get married.”

He can sense Dimitri’s eyes on him, but he’s too embarrassed to make eye contact. Dimitri says, in a voice like he doesn’t want to believe it, “Really?”

“Yeah,” Felix says, more confident now that Dimitri doesn’t think it’s stupid. “I won’t need to. Glenn is gonna marry Ingrid and they’ll have kids so it’s not like I need to worry about passing on the name or the Crest. Glenn’s kids can run the territory when I die. What do I need to get married for?”

Dimitri is quiet for a minute, before he says, “It sounds like you’ve thought about this a lot.”

Felix’s cheeks burn red. “Not a  _ lot,”  _ he protests, although he definitely has. “But it’s hard not to think about it when it’s all Ingrid and Sylvain talk about.” Then he adds, “That way I don’t have any distractions. I can focus on being your shield.”

Dimitri says, very quietly, “I’d like that.” He shifts their hands a little closer, and then he says, “I wish…”

He doesn’t finish the sentence, but Felix knows him better than anyone and he knows what he’s saying.  _ I wish I could promise the same.  _ It’s another harsh reminder that even if he is Dimitri’s, Dimitri will never be his. Felix will spend the rest of his life loving only him, but Dimitri has a duty that is more important than the soft skin of their fingers joined together or the secret smiles he has that are for Felix alone. 

“We don’t have to think about it now,” he says. They’re barely thirteen, after all. A whole future stretches in front of them, and no matter what happens he’ll be here beside Dimitri. He could handle anything as long as he has that. 

“Do you want to go watch Glenn?” He asks. Dimitri smiles widely at him, squeezing his hand and nodding, and together -- inseparable -- they go. 

**Author's Note:**

> twitter @felixfraldaddy


End file.
